“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”
― Elizabeth Edwards
I think it was Tim Shriver who said what has not been grieved will continue to show up in your life.
I was reminded of this quote these past few weeks as I attempted to processed the unknown illness of our Tibetan Terrier, Ruby, and the sudden death of our Lhasa Apso, Duffy.
The pain from these two incidents has pulled up some old stuff. Stuff I’ve had to shove down into some deep dark place many years ago in order to survive and maintain the status quo of my family, my sisters, and myself.
Interesting, I chose to not edit the order of that list because I wanted it to serve as a reminder of where I still placed my priorities even now, at the age of 65 years. Without conscious thought, I’d automatically placed myself at the end of those who needed care and/or protection.
It’s past time to reset those priority button so I can work on my core beliefs, acknowledge my own worth, and begin to work on the grief I’ve carried around with me for the past fifty some years.
“The reality of grief is far different from what others see from the outside. There is pain in this world that you can’t be cheered out of. You don’t need solutions. You don’t need to move on from your grief. You need someone to see your grief, to acknowledge it. You need someone to hold your hands while you stand there in blinking horror, staring at the hole that was your life. Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”