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Living Proof

I wondered who I really was, beyond all that I’d been told. Maybe that’s the point of this journey, to wonder, to investigate. To piece by piece uncover the things that make me, me. To know I don’t need to prove any of the things I’ve figured out abouty myself, to anyone. But just be the living proof.   ~Stacey Martin

I have been given the gift of time to slowly uncover the pieces of my life.  

There are so many lessons to re-take now that I am no longer afraid. 

My teachers are lining up and they are smiling.

As am I.

Peace.

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Ho’oponopono

A few months ago someone shared with me the ancient Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness and healing called, Ho’oponopono.

It is a chant or a mantra that consists of these four lines:

  • I am sorry,
  • Please forgive me,
  • I thank you,
  • I love you.

The suggestion sat in the back of my mind for months. It’s been my experience, lessons wait until we are ready to “come to class.”

I use this chant as throughout the day when I feel challenged by something or triggered. What I have discovered is it gives me pause and when I concentrate on the words I am saying, it is the closest I’ve come to meditating. 

I am going to attach a YouTube video which explains this prayer.

 

Peace.

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A Texas Legend

The Legend of the Bluebonnet

The Texas fields are covered
With a blanket of deep blue.
But for a little Indian girl,
This would not be true.

Texas land was buried and dry.
Rains just would not come.
Indians danced and prayed for rain,
And beat upon their drums.

The Chief made a proclamation.
He appealed to one and all.
A prized possession must be sacrificed
Before the rains would fall.

The Indian camp was silent,
While each person searched his heart.
But when it came to sacrifice,
With possessions they would not part.

Suddenly a little girl stepped forth,
Holding her blue-clad doll.
She placed it in the roaring fire
and raindrops began to fall.

The rain brought forth the grass,
Among its blades, flowers of blue.
To be a sign for all the time
Of a love so pure and true.

   ~Author Unknown

Peace.

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An Unmarked Highway

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I–I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the diffence.” ~Robert Frost

I have not posted in a very long time. The little voice in my head kept telling me I needed to do some work before I wrote into the next chapter of my life.. 

I’ve been on a long journey searching for myself. 

I have discovered many things. Some have taken some time to process. Some are waiting patiently for me to share.  

My path has not been smooth or even clearly marked in places. It appears I am not only directionally challenged when driving my car. 

A few things I know for sure:

  • It is up to me to show and do the work. No one can do that for me.
  • I have been given so many teachers who have guided and encouraged me.
  • Not all teachers are human.
  • It is up to me to teach others.

And so it will be.   

Peace.  

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I’ve Been Thinking…again

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I wrote my last post many months ago. I thought I was ready to write and share more of my stories. 

I was wrong. 

It didn’t take long before I knew I had much more work to do.

This time, I called in professional help. Our conversations eventually wound their way back to the summer my mom died. That long summer from nearly fifty years ago began to unfold before me. So many images pulled in so many emotions. My voice was hesitant at first but began to fall into the phrasing I’d used many times. This time, for the first time, I heard the details were being shared by my ten-year-old self. 

At that moment I realized I’d left her back there all those years ago. 

With this new awareness, I had a clear vision of my mom through the eyes of that confused and fear filled ten year old as well as the wide opened eyes of a loving adult.  

It was as if someone reached over my shoulder, snapping in that long lost puzzle piece. This  piece will be the strong foundation I need to keep growing, learning, and sharing. 

My long sought lesson to share today is never give up on yourself. Keep working and you’ll find your answers. 

I am…

B…simply being. 

Peace be with you. 

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I Am Back

“I believe that life is all about perception and timing. That good things come to those who act and that life’s about more than collecting a paycheck. I believe that the only person you’re destined to become is the one that you decide to be. That if you try hard enough you can convince yourself of anything. That having patience doesn’t make you a hero nor does it make you a doormat. I believe that not showing love proves you’re weak and belittling others doesn’t make you strong. That you are never as far away from people as the miles may suggest. That life’s too short to read awful books, listen to terrible music, or be around uninspiring people. I believe that where you start has little impact on where you finish. That sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away. That you can never be overdressed or overeducated. I believe that the cure for anything is salt water; sweat, tears, or the sea. That you should never let your memories be greater than your dreams. And that you should always choose adventure.” 

― Todd Smidt

I’ve been away from my desk for a long time. 

My last post was written just after I said good-by to my dog, Bud. It was the final heartbreak of a year filled with unexpected events and losses. I needed some open-ended time to refill my well. 

I am better. I am ready to write. 

I’ve talked about the book by Susan Hayward, The Guide for the Advanced Soul. I discovered she has a sequel to this book, Begin It Now, which was waiting for me when I returned from the coast. Even the title sent me a message. As I opened the book, this was what I read:

How much longer will you go on letting your energy sleep? How much longer are you going to stay oblivious of the immensity of yourself? Don’t lose time in conflict; lose no time in doubt–Time can never be recovered and if you miss an opportunity it may take many lives before another comes your way again.    Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

God bless you. 

I am…

B…simply being. 

Peace be with you. 

 

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Days of Gratitude #2

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Melody Beattie

Today, one of the things I am most grateful for are those people who faithfully read what I have to say whenever I get around to saying it. They are always kind and encouraging. Thank you.

The thoughts I shared yesterday rang true for everyone who sent me a note. Because of that I thought I’d continue sharing quick thoughts along with pictures.  

Looking through my pictures it’s sad I don’t have more pictures of when I was young and just starting my career. I was so lucky to begin my work in  imaging when I did. Many of the people I worked with as a student and later as a staff are still my good friends today. For that fact I am so grateful. 

I have very few pictures of the people I grew up with in Traer. Thanks to social media I have been able to reconnect with them. What a gift that is! 

Today I’m sharing more random pictures–again in no special order.

See if these don’t bring back more memories for you, too. 

More tomorrow.

I am…

B…simply being.

~Peace~

Thank you, Glynis Morse, for sharing this photo of Sedona with me. It is a magical place.  Thank you. 

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Days of Gratitude

As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand that it is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives for which we should be particularly grateful. They are the things that fill our lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness — just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breath it; just warmth and shelter and home folks; just plain food that gives us strength; the bright sunshine on a cold day; and a cool breeze when the day is warm.” 

― Laura Ingalls Wilder, Writings to Young Women from Laura Ingalls Wilder: On Wisdom and Virtues

I’m learning when I take long breaks from writing, my mind will start to nudge me back to my computer. If I continue to ignore the prodding, the ideas begin to weave their way into my dreams. I’ve come to the conclusion if I want a peaceful night’s sleep, I need to release some of the thoughts wandering around aimlessly in my mind.

One of the most persistent questions is what is the lesson I need to learn from this Covid experience?

I’ve thought about this a lot these past few months. My answer is always the same thought.

I think this is another lesson for me on the importance of gratitude.

Not just gratitude but being thankful for those small, every day things I used to take for granted.

I bet I’m not the only one missing the simple things–the hugs and handshakes, the spontaneous get togethers with family and friends, face-to-face conversations, mouthed messages across a crowded room–come to think of it–when was the last time I was in a crowded room–

Instead of telling you all the things I am thankful for, I thought I’d share a few pictures.

More to come.

I am..

B…simply being.

~Peace~

More thoughts on t

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Shared Wisdom

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

What you have to do, you do with play.

The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be.

Being alive is the meaning.

The warrior’s approach is to say “yes” to life: “yea” to it all.

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world

We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.

When we talk about settling the world’s problems, we’re barking up the wrong tree.

The world is perfect. It’s a mess.

It has always been a mess.

We are not going to change it.

Our job is to straighten out our own lives.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the live that is waiting for us.

The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.

It we fix on the old, we get stuck.

When we hang onto any form, we are in danger of putrefaction.

Hell is life drying up.

The Hoarder, the one in us that wants to keep, to hold on, must be killed

If we are hanging onto the form now, we’re not ring to have the form next.

You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.

Destruction before creation.

from A Joseph Campbell Companion

There are days when I really need an old friend and kinds words.

Thank you, God, for Joseph Campbell.

I am…

B…simply being.

~Peace~

Many thanks to Diane M. Tolzman for allowing me to use her breathtaking picture taken at Clear Lake Resort.  

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Thoughts Over Time

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” 

― William Penn

Up until February or so of this year, I had a whole list of things I said I’d do when I got the time.

I’ve certainly had the time but my list has not really changed very much.

The concept of time has become almost mystical.  Days blend into each other making it hard for me to remember if I’d done a certain task this morning or was that yesterday morning. Weekends merge into the rest of the days and I find myself saying things like it’s Monday again or is it really Friday already? Fridays did not come this fast when I was working!

For the first time in my life I’ve been home consistently enough to witness the sun change its arc across the sky. I’ve watched the fawns lose their spots and baby birds grow up at our bird feeders. I’ve seen most of the sunrises and sunsets which became visual reminders of the power and steadfastness of God.

I’ve continued my search for self and made strong commitments to self-care. This was not and is not always easy but I’m making steady if slow progress.

I’ve made time to talk with God daily and continue to find prayers that fit my life and ones to share. I’ve learned short informal prayers are great because sometimes less really is more. Fewer words mean I can add some of my own and make my conversation with God more personal. I like that–a lot.

Sometimes the most important things we need to do aren’t on any list.

Lord help me

to remember

that nothing

is going to happen

to me today

that You and I

together can’t handle.

Amen.  

~Unknown~

I am…

B…simply being. 

~Peace~

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