Disillusionment

Disillusionment with yourself must precede Enlightenment.

Vernon Howard

 

I am learning, with a little kicking and screaming along the way, there comes a time when I must step back and let it all go. 

I’m still working on the timing part of that lesson.

Yesterday, I was mentally and physically exhausted. We’ve had a lot going on and it’s taken its toll. 

It has all been very positive, which makes it very difficult for me to concede I need some extra rest. 

Why do I think I don’t have the right to be tired after good things happen? 

In place of writing yesterday, which is a treat for me, I rested. 

That hour or two of rest refilled my well—which was a good thing. 

This morning began with a beautiful sunrise, clear skies, and warm breezes. Hiding in the wings were a few health insurance issues which quickly created a series of problems. 

Thanks to having some extra reserve on board, I kept the frustration meter, for the most part, in check.

I am NOT saying I handled it as well as I could have–I AM saying I handled it much better than usual. 

Isn’t that what it’s all about—doing it better than before–making it possible to move on, building on that new experience and knowledge?

“You’re not going to always hit a home run in life. You’re going to strike out! You’re going to walk to the dugout of life, frustrated, while spectators chirp your name in judgment. They’re afraid to even get on the field, and you know it. The fact that you get back up there, unafraid, going after that next home run, makes you the person you are.” 

Ron Baratono, The Writings of Ron Baratono

I am…

B…simply being…

God bless us all. 

~Peace~

A Rest Day

“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.”
― Alan Cohen

I rested today.

The sun was warm-hot actually, the breeze strong, and there was a feeling of change in the air.

As I sat on my back patio, I saw the first honey bee I’d seen in a very long time. This little bee had so much pollen on his back legs he was moving very slowly. It was so fun to watch him and several other bees crawl and fly on and over this beautiful plant.

Since it was such a slow day, let me update you on my revived ritual of journaling.

This one very simple act has reconnected me to my world. As I walk to my desk each day and open my notebook, I am so thankful for the early morning time of self-awareness. So much has changed in my world these past few years. For the first time in a very long time, I now write what comes to mind and allow those words to come unfiltered. I’ve learned I’m still looking for my place here. That is a big discovery. It is powerful. The insights unfolding as I write are giving me direction. I am able to work on a plan that will allow me to continue moving forward and grow. I’m learning that having a plan buffers the fear and the worry. It gives me control–and–surprise–I really like that.

I journal Monday through Friday with downtime over the weekends so my batteries have the time they need for recharging. Those batteries took some serious abuse in the past–their reserve power is best not challenged–so I don’t. Early each morning, I grab my coffee, put on my Celtic music, sit down, sharpen my pencils, and write. As I gaze out my windows, I’ve been reminded of how magical the early morning hours are while I’m bedazzled by the beauty of the hill country sunrises.

I’ve learned how important it is to write first thing. For a few days, I sat on the front porch with the dogs and Michael, sharing coffee and awaiting the sunrise. It was a good experience but that time gave my brain time to engage the “ego.” With those few minutes of delay, I’d lost that window of pure, unfiltered honesty. Writing now comes first.

Tonight, we are expecting our first major cold front of the season. Tomorrow will be much cooler. Texas is still pretty crazy to me–I see the trees sway as the winds gust–I find myself wondering how much snow will fall overnight! Crazy–yes–but I am very thankful I will not have to add shoveling snow to my tomorrow to-do list.

I’m off to bed. Please, remember to pray for each other, my friends. These cold and icy days mean there will be many slips and falls. All that translates to broken hips, arms, and whatever else hits the ground first. Watch out for each other. Lend a steady hand where you see it’s needed. Get out and help your elderly neighbor shovel snow.

Be patient and kind.

I am…

B…simply being…

Love you.

Peace

 

 

 

A Slow Day

Everybody needs a slow day–I took one today. I am learning to listen to my body and some days you just don’t push it.

In light of that I’m sharing simple things today.

First thing to share is that our friends brought home their new puppy today. She is adorable. I’ve attached a picture of her so you can fall in love with her, too. She is described as very affectionate and ALL puppy. Cannot wait to meet her and hold her squiggly little body and smell that puppy breath.

Secondly,  I’m sharing something I discovered about a month ago. I’ve wanted to go back to school but honestly, could not commit to the time. Not sure how I stumbled upon on-line courses called MOOCs. I had to Google the acronym to see what it was and found it stood for: Massive Open Online Course. The courses are offered through several different sources for pretty low prices or free. The source I am most pleased with at this time is Coursera–you can check them out at: Coursera.org. They offer a wide variety of courses for free or a fee if you want a certificate of completion.

Lastly, but most importantly, I am thankful my husband was home today to take care of me. Thanks, Mickey. Your attention alone made a world of difference. I had three other care givers–all three dogs were beside me while I rested. Of course, part of that fact is they are allowed on the bed during the day–that might have been a huge incentive. Regardless, it was a joyously lazy day.

I took advice from Anne Lamott today:

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you. 

I am rested, renewed, mostly recharged. I am…

B…simply being…

Peace and love to all.