Missing My Duffy

“Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.” 

Agnes Sligh Turnbull

Last Monday marked the one year anniversary of the day I said good-bye to my Duffy.

I miss him.

I miss the way he shared time spent on each of our laps, his twisting and turning when he was excited and happy, his well-disguised Alpha persona, his way of barking at something as a diversion tactic in order to get his preferred resting spot, his lazy pace on our walks, and most of all, his Lhasa smell.

My dear Duffy, I know beyond a shadow of doubt you made sure we’d find our Abby Rose. It’s what you always did–took good care of us.

I was and am one very lucky human. Thank you, little man, I love you.

 “It may be a cat, a bird, a ferret, or a guinea pig, but the chances are high that when someone close to you dies, a pet will be there to pick up the slack. Pets devour the loneliness. They give us purpose, responsibility, a reason for getting up in the morning, and a reason to look to the future. They ground us, help us escape the grief, make us laugh, and take full advantage of our weakness by exploiting our furniture, our beds, and our refrigerator. We wouldn’t have it any other way. Pets are our seat belts on the emotional roller coaster of life–they can be trusted, they keep us safe, and they sure do smooth out the ride.” 

Nick Trout, Tell Me Where It Hurts: A Day of Humor, Healing, and Hope in My Life as an Animal Surgeon

I am…

B…simply being. 

~Peace be with you, my dear friends.~

 

A Gift

This month two of my friends will mark the first anniversary of the death of their husbands.

Anniversaries are hard for many reasons. It’s been my experience very few people remember these types of uncomfortable dates, especially after the first year has passed–even fewer remember as time moves slowly on.

In fear of doing something wrong and/or dragging up more pain, most will opt to do nothing.

If, like me, know someone who has had a difficult loss, I believe the best gift you can give them is time.

With all the modern technologies literally at our fingertips, it’s so easy to pick up the cell phone and leave a voice message or send a text. This type of non-intrusive message gives the person the space and luxury of answering immediately or waiting until he or she is ready. Plus, in a matter of minutes, your grieving friend knows someone remembers and is thinking of them.

Reach out, my friends, because it’s a road we will all walk down in one way or another.

Help me, God, to listen with my entire being. When I am in pain, give me the courage to trust others enough to bare my heart to them. And when there is no one to listen, hear me, God. Hear me and heal me. Amen

Rabbi Naomi Levy, To Begin Again

I am…

B…simply being.   

~Peace be with you.~