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October 11, 2017

This Little Piggy…

Several years ago, Michael and I were searching for wild bird seed. It was winter and we loved feeding the birds. After a few weeks, we felt that the food we’d been using was too expensive. We looked at several places but did not find a mix that fit our needs. We decided to check out a store a few miles from us.

It was a Saturday and the area was busy. We searched for the address listed in their ads but could never find a sign or a storefront. The ad was old so maybe the store had closed. Clouds had been building all that morning and the winds shifted just in time for us to get a whiff of bar-b-que.

Whatever was cooking smelled incredible. We had to check it out. We followed our noses.

Across the parking lot at one of the neighborhood Kings Sooper grocery stores, we saw huge grills set up. There were large signs telling everyone they were serving pork burgers. Not just any pork burgers–this pork came from Iowa. Not just any ol’ place in Iowa–this pork came from Tama County.

As a young kid, I grew up in Tama County. Which meant, we had to check this out.

We marched our way to the grills and started asking questions. The Tama County Pork Association was in Colorado promoting Iowa pork. For this promotion, they were serving free burgers all over the country. This was not just a way to promote Iowa pork but it was a way to remind people burgers could be made with any type of ground meat. They made a point of saying that this King Soopers was the place they would be in this part of Denver.

What a surprise and such a delight! We had excellent burgers served by super friendly people all while sharing our Iowa stories.

The synchronicity of this chance encounter was and still is, incredible to me.

Had we not decided that this was the day we would search for less expensive bird seed and had we not struck out trying to find the Wild Bird Store, forcing us to walk around a shopping center we were not familiar with, we never would have noticed the grills set up at a grocery store we never use.

The whole interaction made my soul smile that day and it is making my soul smile today.

All this comes to mind because Michael just got home from the hunting lease. He did not come home alone. In our YETI 65 cooler, he had a dressed wild pig–oh–excuse me–Wild Texas Boar.

Now, this pig filled that entire cooler. I’ve watched Life Below Zero. I know this would not be a problem for Sue or Glenn, or Chip and Agnes Hailstone. But, this was a first for me. I did not know how to begin.

What does an Iowa girl do in this situation? She pulls out her Tama County Porkette Cook Book.

I’m pretty sure our “cuts” are not even close to the traditional cuts shown on the Porkette’s diagram. Well…we all have to start somewhere. For our first time, I’m thinking we did okay–I’m also thinking that this little piggy will smoke up just fine.

I gotta tell you, Texas continues to amaze me in so many unexpected ways. I also have to say, it is very fun finding ways to mix in a little bit of that Iowa flare–Porkettes and all–however I can make that happen.

I am…

B…simply being…

Love Y’all.

Peace

October 10, 2017

My Stories

I’ve had the past couple of days to myself –which usually means I am tearing things apart and/or re-arranging something. I was concentrating so hard on what I was doing, I lost track of time. I knew I needed to finish up so I could write my story of the day. A thought that surprised me. Today’s the first time I realized I considered myself a storyteller. I have to say, I like that. I also realized how much I enjoy sharing my thoughts here.

Is it easy? No. Deciding what to write and share is difficult some days. Some stories I put on hold because I know they will take much more time to pull out of my head. Others–flow so easily they almost feel like they write themselves.

I found this picture today as I was re-arranging storage spaces. It was taken in October of 1991. I had flown to Austin, Texas, to meet Michael’s family. I think we were at The Oasis. From left to right, the cast of characters–characters being the operative word–Michael, Irving, Michael’s sister’s boyfriend, now her husband, Michael’s sister Neva, and Michael’s Mom.

It was a whirlwind trip filled with all the sites of Austin. We had an extra day of exploration because of an early snowstorm that closed the airport in Denver. It was my first experience of leaving one airport in shorts and flip-flops and arriving home in Denver to snow on the ground.

As I think back on this time, I’m awestruck by how quickly the time has passed. In a blink of an eye, twenty-six years have flown by us. Michael’s Mom and Dad passed away ten years ago. When I do the math, which is always questionable when I am the one doing the calculating, I think I am the age Michael’s Mom was in this picture. Once again, God is giving me a strong message to live each day.

I am passing on that message to all of you. Live and love today. Of all the things we know for sure these days, it is the fact that tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Hold onto each other and enjoy each day with all your heart.

I am…

B…simply being…

I love you.

Peace

October 10, 2017October 10, 2017

A Rest Day

“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.”
― Alan Cohen

I rested today.

The sun was warm-hot actually, the breeze strong, and there was a feeling of change in the air.

As I sat on my back patio, I saw the first honey bee I’d seen in a very long time. This little bee had so much pollen on his back legs he was moving very slowly. It was so fun to watch him and several other bees crawl and fly on and over this beautiful plant.

Since it was such a slow day, let me update you on my revived ritual of journaling.

This one very simple act has reconnected me to my world. As I walk to my desk each day and open my notebook, I am so thankful for the early morning time of self-awareness. So much has changed in my world these past few years. For the first time in a very long time, I now write what comes to mind and allow those words to come unfiltered. I’ve learned I’m still looking for my place here. That is a big discovery. It is powerful. The insights unfolding as I write are giving me direction. I am able to work on a plan that will allow me to continue moving forward and grow. I’m learning that having a plan buffers the fear and the worry. It gives me control–and–surprise–I really like that.

I journal Monday through Friday with downtime over the weekends so my batteries have the time they need for recharging. Those batteries took some serious abuse in the past–their reserve power is best not challenged–so I don’t. Early each morning, I grab my coffee, put on my Celtic music, sit down, sharpen my pencils, and write. As I gaze out my windows, I’ve been reminded of how magical the early morning hours are while I’m bedazzled by the beauty of the hill country sunrises.

I’ve learned how important it is to write first thing. For a few days, I sat on the front porch with the dogs and Michael, sharing coffee and awaiting the sunrise. It was a good experience but that time gave my brain time to engage the “ego.” With those few minutes of delay, I’d lost that window of pure, unfiltered honesty. Writing now comes first.

Tonight, we are expecting our first major cold front of the season. Tomorrow will be much cooler. Texas is still pretty crazy to me–I see the trees sway as the winds gust–I find myself wondering how much snow will fall overnight! Crazy–yes–but I am very thankful I will not have to add shoveling snow to my tomorrow to-do list.

I’m off to bed. Please, remember to pray for each other, my friends. These cold and icy days mean there will be many slips and falls. All that translates to broken hips, arms, and whatever else hits the ground first. Watch out for each other. Lend a steady hand where you see it’s needed. Get out and help your elderly neighbor shovel snow.

Be patient and kind.

I am…

B…simply being…

Love you.

Peace

October 6, 2017

Fear

Writing this week has been tough. Honestly, doing anything seemed a little surreal. How do you absorb the sights, sounds, and emotions that played out these past few days?

You can not.

We all have to move on–but how? The only way, at least for me, is to stop watching. It is time for me to refill my own emotional well–it is dangerously low. I have nothing left to give. I now need to keep my mind focused on myself and direct my attention back to my own soul.

To get me started, I turned to my usual sources, my own collection of quotes and the internet. I needed something that would put fear into perspective. I read and read. Finally, I found the one. I agreed with it. It was so simply true–and it made me slowly smile.

“Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?”
― Lemony Snicket

I wish you all a safe and peace-filled weekend. May we continue to help each other heal, both physically and mentally. Please stay patient and kind. Pray. Hug freely, fully, and often.

I am…

B…simply being…

I love you.

Peace

October 5, 2017

The Helpers

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

― Fred Rogers

I woke up in the middle of the night and made the mistake of picking up my phone. While I waited for the dogs, I checked what was new. One of my friends had a post where she talked about her first job as a radiologic technologist and the things she saw in her early career.

This put my mind into overtime. The good part of that was I now knew what I would write about today. I would write about the caregivers but add my twist about something I always questioned when I was working. Who takes care of the caregivers?

As I began to write, my story began to change. That’s not unusual. These past few months of writing my blogs, the stories often take on a voice of their own. Today was no exception. What I’d planned moved aside to let another voice speak.

The message? What about those unintentional caregivers? You know–those people who were there to see and hear and be part of this three-day music festival.

If we, those of us who were and are healthcare workers and providers, have our own worst memories thrusting themselves into our minds, how do these people who just happened to be at the wrong place at the right time deal with all they are feeling?

We’ve all read each other’s stories of when this happened and when that happened when we were working. BUT, we were trained on how to deal with what came down that hallway. Our stories of those long days or nights are like what these everyday people experienced in the first two minutes of this attack.

These courageous people did not run away. In fact, from what I have heard and read, many actually helped one person and returned to help more. What many saw and experienced that night had only been seen and endured before by trained soldiers on battlefields.

Compared to the stories they could tell us, mine are like first-grade show-and-tell.

My point?

There were many times in my career when I went home questioning who would listen to me and help me understand the pain and suffering I’d witnessed that day. These brave souls did unbelievable things. Who will listen to them and help them understand what they saw and felt? Who will help them find the words to get all the images out of their heads?

If you know someone who was there, treat them with extra care. Give them the time they need to talk. Help them find help so they can begin to heal. The images they saw will be with them forever. If there was ever a need for a very large special care therapy center, it is now. Unfortunately, even if it could happen, it will never happen.

Let’s do what we can as individuals. Be aware that there are even more people among us who need our kindness and prayers. Please be gentle with these novice caregivers who answered the cries they heard in the panic that night.

I believe in angels. I believe angels flew close to the earth that night, helping the helpers help.

Please, God, bless them all.

I am…

B…simply being…

I love you.

Peace

October 4, 2017

Key to Yourself

When I first met my husband, he had a little paperback book he read every day. The name of this book is Key to Yourself, by Dr. Venice Bloodworth. It is an old book, the copyright date, 1952.

He bought a copy for me which sits on my bookshelf and I added a digital copy for my Kindle. Dr. Bloodworth’s book is another one I grab when I need spiritual help or guidance.

For me, the chapters are short, making it easy to add them to my morning routine or use as a way to calm my mind in the evening. The wording may be dated but the ideas presented are not–I have to remind myself that she wrote this book in the 50’s.

Today, I searched for the chapter she’d written about fear. Let me share the ending paragraphs:

“Fear, anger, criticism and all such thoughts are the most expensive guests we can entertain. They bring a harvest of poverty, misery, and discord. There is no need to fear anything for we carry the indwelling power to overcome everything. Then why should we be angry with our brother? If he has injured you, he will surely reap with interest everything he has done to you, and if you are angry in return you harm yourself more than him; and remember that the same mighty power that dwells in you, sleeps also in your brother. We are all children of the Father and co-heirs with Christ; so lift yourself above the petty manifestations of mistakes and live in accord with the good within you.”

One ship drives east, another drives west,

With self-same winds that blow.

“Tis the set of the sails and not the gales

Which tells us the way to go.

Like the waves of the sea are the ways of fate,

As we voyage along through life.

“Tis the set of the soul which decided the goal,

And not the calm or the Strife.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I am…

B…simply being…

Love Y’all.

Peace

October 3, 2017

Looking for Answers

As I sit at my desk and look out into my little corner of the world, I find I am once again wrestling with all the crazy thoughts stomping through my mind. There are so many and they are so distracting.

Sometimes you just have to let it go and let it be. So, my post will be short, sharing from one my favorite books, A Guide for the Advanced Soul. This little book is my go-to source for wisdom and this was my gift today:

Don’t try to force anything. Let life be a deep let-go. See God opening millions of flowers every day without forcing the buds.

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

I am…

B…simply being…

Love to all.

Peace

October 2, 2017

In a Matter of Minutes…

What separates us from the animals, what separates us from the chaos, is our ability to mourn people we’ve never met.”
― David Levithan, Love Is the Higher Law

Life waits for no one nor does death discriminate. In a matter of minutes, our lives can change forever.

My day began, like many, with “breaking news” from Las Vegas. That is never ever a good thing sign to see when you turn on the morning news. I then saw thousands of people together, enjoying an open-air concert. I then realized too many of those innocent souls lost their lives. Once again, families and friends are left with the unimaginable job of trying to put the pieces of their lives together without those lost.

As I was struggling to find words to describe the emotions flaring in my heart, we received a phone call from a dear friend. She asked to speak to us both. As my heart raced, my first thought was she or her husband had a family member at that concert.

That was not what she called to share with us. What she told us was just as dire.

Another friend is seriously ill with a very poor prognosis. They are still in the middle of testing but the early diagnosis is scary.

I know I have a super powerful prayer group here in my circle of friends. Please add this family to your prayers. They are overwhelmed and feeling lost–a feeling shared by many right now.

May God bless us all.

I am…

B…simply being…

I thank you and love you all.

Peace

September 29, 2017

Ruby

This is our youngest furry family member, Ruby Jean.

Ruby is a Tibetan Terrier, a breed we saw for the first time six years ago when we watched the National Dog Show. We tuned in just in time to see a beautiful Tibetan Terrier presented as the best in show.

We fell head over heels in love.

We had lost our rescue dog, Gracie, a few months before and promised ourselves we would never ever have three dogs again. Then we saw and researched TTs–Tibetan Terriers.

The breed is a cousin to the Lhasa Apso. Like the Lhasa, they were bred and raised by the lamas in Tibet. They were called the “Holy Dogs of Tibet” prized for their loyalty and companionship as well as being the lamas good luck charms. Neither breed was ever sold by the lamas. They were gifted as a sign of respect or as a way to promote good fortune.

We searched and searched but could not find a TT breeder locally. Even though we knew the dangers, we began a long internet search. The red flags were waving but we thought we knew what we were doing. We had been so lucky with Duffy. Heck, we knew how to make a wise breeder choice.

We were wrong.

Long story short, Ruby arrived at DIA on December 4, 2011, somewhere around 6:00 p.m. As luck would have it, Denver was experiencing the first ice storm of the year and her flight was the first one to arrive at that terminal. The outside doors were frozen shut because of the very cold temperatures and the amount of freezing rain we had received. Finally, her carrier was brought into the room where we, like the expectant parents we were, paced and paced. As Michael signed the paperwork, I edged over to meet my new puppy.

This seven-month-old puppy left Florida on the 0600 flight. Taking into account the time it took to get her ready to travel, travel to the airport, and do the pre-flight paperwork, she had been in her carrier for over twelve hours. Slowly, I bent down to gaze into her face. In the dim light, I peered around the inside of her carrier. I strained to make it be more because all I could see was wet, crumpled newspapers and a slouched-over, wide-eyed puppy. She had no food. She had no water. She had no room to sit up or lay down.

I was very unhappy. We hurried to get her home.

Once home, we coaxed her out and discovered she was underweight. She had small bites over her chest, legs, and abdomen. Her ears had very little hair. At seven months of age, she had no idea how to go up and down stairs or how to go through a door.

Today, although still skittish and shy, she is happy and healthy. She loves to run in her backyard while watching all the new types of wildlife here in the Texas hill country. Her eyes are beautiful and expressive. Her facial expressions are more human than some people I know. She is my clown, my athlete, and my healer. Whenever I am sad or not feeling well, she will be at my side until I am feeling stronger and better.

On that icy December night, as I looked into her sad eyes, I felt I had another rescue dog on my hands. I certainly had that wrong. What I did not understand was she was about to rescue me.

I am…

B…simply being…

I love Y’all.

Peace

September 28, 2017

Prince, Otherwise Known As, Duffy

When you read about the Lhasa Apso breed, you find that some people say there is the spirit of a Dalai Lama in a Lhasa. When you meet Duffy, you will tend to believe that statement.

Michael found Duffy at a time when our oldest Lhasa, Pearl, was pretty sick. She was 14 years old and failing. Honestly, I feel Pearl hung with us and tolerated our intensive care because she did not want to leave Bud with Gracie. Gracie was our rescue dog. Like most rescue animals, she was also older and had her own health issues. As time slide by us, it became obvious Gracie was not going to be a long-term companion for Bud.

Michael found Duffy in an internet ad placed from Utah. What caught his attention was the fact that Duffy and his brother, Andy, were ready to come to us immediately. They were seven months old and had been staying with the breeder waiting for their original owner to recover from breast cancer. Unexpected complications of that surgery forced the owner to make the difficult decision to give them up, opening up the opportunity for us to have an older puppy.

Our main focus was making this change in a way that was easy for both older dogs. After extensive conversations with the breeder, we found a way to get Duffy to our home in Denver.

Duffy arrived at DIA by way of Delta Airlines in his own very roomy dog carrier. Inside the carrier was a new little dog bed, a book of instructions on how to care for him, food, water, and his toys.

Our house became his home immediately. Pearl gave him a sniff and a glance of acknowledgment. Gracie ignored him. Bud taught him how to use the dog door and let him know who was the boss.

Duffy arrived on Tuesday. That Friday, our Vet, Dr. Munger, called to tell me Pearl’s latest bloodwork showed she had severe diabetes.

It was time.

Pearl was ready. As I looked around me, I realized she had retreated into her own space, opening up her corner of this world. She was easing away from all of us while getting her world in order. She was moving on.

I lost another part of my heart that day. I cry as I remember and tell her story. I am grateful we had such great care from our vet and his staff. Pearl was a fighter. She died peacefully in the place where she had fought so many battles. She was finally free of the pain. She will always be one of my biggest and strongest heroes.

From the day he arrived, Duffy has been both the instigator and the peacemaker. He has grown and expanded his own spot in my heart. Oh, don’t be mistaken, he could never ever fill anyone else’s spot–that is impossible. What has happened is he’s smoothed those rough edges by his unconditional acceptance of me. His being has allowed me to be joyful again.

It is the inevitable truth about having a dog. We dog owners know this, but it is a fact we ignore. Yes, ignorance truly is bliss. After walking this road many times before, I now understand that I each day with these special souls is a blessing. I work hard to live each day with this knowledge close at hand.

In the heaven I envision, dogs are on the front line. Well…seriously…of course they are the first souls encountered by anyone coming that way. And yes, they really are at that rainbow bridge spot. In my mind, when a dog dies, there is another dog soul standing in the middle of the rainbow bridge. Each dog is waiting for the other because the dog-in-waiting will soon be on the way to wag his way into the life and heart of the human left behind. That puppy powered with puppy energy and puppy breath will smooch and soothe away the ragged edges of loss.

God understands that it is only another brave, adorable puppy soul who could even attempt to ease the type of pain that comes from the loss of another dog.

For me, Duffy is another champion. He wasn’t waiting for Pearl at the bridge. He knew he had to get a head start because he had some HUGE paws to fill.

I am…

B…simply…being…

Love and peace, Y’all.