Tag: life lessons

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A Little Wednesday Wisdom

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.” ~ Ralph Marston

It’s already Wednesday, the week of Thanksgiving, 2017.

Because I am an award-winning procrastinator, I’ve been moving faster than usual today. I’ve finally accepted this as the way I operate. Being that charter member, regardless of where I was in the grocery store today, I was rushing, avoiding, or waiting.

It was mostly a waiting game.

I was one of the very few walking up and down the aisles with a smile on my face. The more frowns I met, the more I smiled–and my smile grew wider and wider with each cluster of people I encountered. Granted,  I was probably one of the few there by choice. One of my fellow HEB warriors was a mom of three. She patiently directed her oldest son up and down the different rows as she searched up and down for the things she needed. She excused herself for the pace her little pack held, telling me she was not from here. Again–a huge smile crossed my face because I and every other local person in the store had determined that a long time before she confirmed it.

To me, she was a hero.

I had not one single minute of doubt she’d have been done shopping, checked out, loaded the car, and on the way home if she had not offered it all up by giving the keys to the cart to her son. I’m not sure how often he had been the cart pilot, but there were some close calls as he made his way around stocking cards, past full end caps, skirted other kids, and bypassed the very large representation of this community’s more elderly shoppers. Cheers to you, mom. May God bless you with a full glass of wine with a full bottle standing by when you get home.

My favorite entertainer of the day was the young dad trying to keep up with his daughter as she zigged here and zagged there, always searching for that very elusive place where she could let her wild horses ride. He managed to stay close to her, adjusting his speed and chatter as they both sped on ahead.

I had a majestically joy-filled experience.

All this and the fact that it was Thanksgiving Eve, reminded me of a late day run to the post office made shortly after I’d moved to the Denver area. It was the beginning of my first holiday season away from home. I’d had a hard week, I was on call, I was already tired, I was lonely, and I was angry. A subscription I’d canceled had sent the product anyway. That meant, I now had to return it.

All these negatives played over and over in my head as I walked to the post office. A young man and his dad were coming out of the building, the boy stopped to hold the door for me. In my pre-occupied state, I brushed quickly by them, making my way inside.

A rather firm voice broke my litany of poor me, poor pitiful me self-statements. I heard the boy say, “You’re welcome.” His dad was quick to hush; the young man, making his point very adamantly, “She could at least say thank you, dad!”

Wow. For a second, his comment made me angry. Then…I realized how rude I’d been.

The kid was absolutely right.

As I turned to acknowledge, they were gone. The dad had whisked him out to the car.

What a huge lesson I learned that evening from this young man. You never know when or who your teachers will show up or who they will be–he was the first person to help me on my path to being more aware. Since that night, I see how many others neglect expressing appreciation for simple acts of respect and kindness.

This memory was sparked by finding the quote I’ve attached to today’s story by Ralph Marston. Saying thank you takes seconds and costs nothing. Stay aware of all the kindness and care to come your way–be grateful.

For years, Michael and I subscribed to Mr. Marston’s, The Daily Motivator. If you’ve never seen these daily messages, take a minute to check it out. It will give you one other thing to be grateful for and open another gift opportunity for you.

I am…

B…simply being…

My love sent your way.

God bless.

Peace

 

 

 

 

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Patience

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.”
― Orson F. Whitney

 

It appears God has assigned some very specific lessons for me these past few weeks. His lesson plans seem to be very focused on teaching me the virtue of patience.

I was not being the most appreciative student today. I was feeling very annoyed, frustrated, and angry about some of the challenges that have come my way. I knew it was time for me to take some time away and work on gathering my thoughts and myself together.

Writing always soothes my restlessness. Thank God for that. I began to search for quotes and prayers about patience. My post begins with a quote I found and ends with a prayer. This prayer is written by Naomi Levy, originally titled, A Parent’s Prayer for Patience. Thank you, Naomi, I’ve adapted your prayer to my needs today.

When life tests me, teach me, God, how to respond with wisdom. When I grow irritable, send me patience. When my fury rages, teach me the power of restraint. When I become fixed in my ways, teach me to be flexible. When I take myself too seriously, bless me with a sense of humor. When I am exhausted, fill me with strength. When I am frightened, fill me with courage. When I am stubborn, teach me how to bend. When I act hypocritically, help me to align my deeds with my values. When mundane pressures threaten to overwhelm me, help me to remember how truly blessed I am. When I lose my way, God, please guide me on the road back to Joy, back to Love, back to Peace, back to You.  Amen

I am…

B…simply being…

Love and peace, Y’all.

 

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Happy Birthday, Dad.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

Today would have been his 99th birthday.

The older I get, the more I miss him.

Merle H. Burton was the only constant in my life for most of my life. When I was younger, I was too busy doing what I thought was so important–creating that person I thought was me. Well…that self-improvement project turned out to be very costly and really not very successful.

I think he saw that–probably because he had walked the same path in his younger years. He tried to warn me. I was and am such a stubborn first-born.  I think he understood I had to learn my own lessons and pay my own piper. I am grateful for those times shortly before he died when we both laid down our shields and began to really talk WITH each other.

I love you, Dad. Thank you for never giving up on me.

Texas is still struggling and will be for a very long time. As someone said yesterday, this recovery will not be complete in a few weeks or a few months. This will take years. Thank you for your prayers. Now, because of the refineries in the Houston area being shut down, there is a gas panic in the rest of the state. The debate rages. Is it a real shortage or something politically motivated? Regardless of where you point your finger, many gas stations near us are out of gas. In the big picture—all very minor.

I wish you all a very safe Labor Day holiday. There are many struggling in our great country–flooding continues here and major wildfires in Montana, Wyoming, and the northwest.

As you relax and enjoy these last days of summer, take a moment to pray for each other. We are all fighting battles–some do so very quietly. Be extra patiently kind.

I am…

B…simply being…

I love Y’all.

Peace

 

 

 

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More From the Confessional

I shared my First Confession story yesterday. I’m not sure why I remembered so much about it. I think it was  because it happened during a very short time span when my life was “normal”. We were a typical Catholic family for the time. My Dad converted to the Catholic religion when he married my Mom. Mom helped me learn my prayers and made sure I had that special dress along with the extra special hair style for my all-important day. Father Lana was the first priest I was old enough to remember and was our parish priest for several years. Looking back, our parish must have been one of his first, if not his first assignment. I say this because many years later, he was the principal of the Catholic grade school my niece and nephew attended in Waterloo. This fact is just one example of how certain people have always been in my life–even if it has been very tangentially.

My other memorable confession story happened not long after my First Confession/Communion. We went to my grandparents for Easter. As every good Catholic knows, you have to go to confession before Easter. I was so excited because I was part of the “adult” group. Everyone got in the car and we drove to Sacred Heart, my grandparent’s parish, in Fort Dodge, Iowa.

Okay–here’s the little detail I missed. It is one of the first and one of the most blaring examples of not knowing what you don’t know. I had only gone to confession at my little church. You remember, our little church that had one side for the priest, one side for the confessor. At this much bigger church, there were two sides to the confessional. It was like there was one “active” side and one side “in-waiting”. I never noticed. I was so nervous because I was about to tell some new priest my sins. What if he thought I was really bad? My whole entire family was with me–along with at least a hundred other people. I had to really get this one right.

It was my turn. I had my sins tallied and in order. I walked into the confessional, knelt, looked at the window, and began my confession. Sure, it all looked different but I expected that–that screen in front of me must be a lot thicker because I could not see the priest at all.

Silence.

Oh no.

I looked up. I could now see a dim outline of the priest. He cleared his throat and asked me if I was ready to say my confession. Well, I thought to myself, hadn’t I just done that? They must do things differently here in Ft. Dodge. I told him I couldn’t think of anything.

Silence.

He sighed. He told me that I needed to go back and examine my conscience some more so  I could come back and make a good confession.

I walked out of the confessional and back to the pew where I had just been a few minutes earlier. I thought and thought and thought. I was very confused.

I looked around to see my Dad looking at me. He came and sat beside me, whispering why I was still sitting there? I began my detailed story.  As my words spilled out, I could see him beginning to smile.  He was beginning to see exactly what had happened.

He put his arm around me and slowly turned me around, showing me the two sides of the confessional. He explained how it was different from what we had at home.

As an adult I can see this must have created quite a dilemma.  Does he send me back in line or does he tell me to say three Hail Marys and three Our Fathers and be done so we could all go home? He left the decision to me…

I scrambled back in line, completing one of my first lessons on how somethings are the same but different.

Yes, God certainly does have a very wicked sense of humor.

I am…

B…simply being…

May God continue to bless us all.

Love and peace, y’all.

 

 

 

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Back Home

Retirement.

An interesting and often confusing time in my life. Why confusing? I am discovering that I have some pre-conceived ideas about retirement. Now that I am not working, does a vacation still exist in my world? From some new awareness that came on board last week, I’d say I had a pretty strong belief that once retired, I was on a full-time vacation.

As we “vacationed” I was given another life lesson opportunity. Yes, my friends, I now am now a believer that vacations do exist post retirement. Not only are they real but they are just as important now as they were when we were working.

I must make a confession to you–not that it is a surprise. Some of the things I need to learn the most are often the most difficult things for me to recognize. I started this blog again–an important word–again–only a few weeks ago. Sharing my life experiences and lessons with those readers who find my posts is very important to me. But, finding balance in life is difficult. When a passion is a new, it may push aside some other things that are also important. Hell, what do I know? I do believe ambitions can blind us to other important things.

Sigh…

My very individualized writing plan did not take into account what was important to Michael, my husband, my best friend, and my mostly patient traveling companion. I was in need of a serious reality check.

As my stories unfold, we will all see that self-care is not my strong point. A few days ago, God gave me another gentle reminder, via Michael, that rest, relaxation, and renewal are just as important now as they were when we were employed. In order to grow and thrive, our souls needs rejuvenation.

Balance.

There is a lot to share. It will be important for me to remember to take it a little at a time. Being a Libra, the scales have been a part of the search whenever I searched for what made me, me. The balance of things have not often gone in my favor. Now, I have the time to take things slowly and weigh all the grains of my life stories out carefully. What a blessing, to have the time to be a story-teller.

With the grace of God, I will share the lessons as I go.

As always, I am

B…simply being…

God bless us all with love and peace. Join me in praying for those who struggle tonight We live in very hard times. I love you.

 

 

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Mondays…

I ‘m thinking that it really doesn’t matter whether you are working or not, Mondays are still Mondays. What does matter, though, is the fact that old behavior patterns die hard. They follow you around, retired or not. Procrastination is something that has haunted me my entire life. The things that led up to today were no exception.

My to do list was exceptionally long because this day was the final day in that old saying we all flippantly throw around, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” This Monday was that final tomorrow-day-come-calling, with bells on and all a-ringing. What should have been steps in a list of joyful preparations became a race to throw it all together and run full speed ahead to the finish line.

Maybe I have finally learned this lesson? If things become painful enough, you change, right? Today was not painful. It was certainly not as happy as it could/should have been. Looking back on the events of the day, the big positive I see is that this may be the tipping point of my lessons about procrastination.

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day filled with events you will share with family and friends for years to come. For me, at this stage of my life, there are not many family members around anymore. Because of the distance that separates us, we connect by way of social media.  As I was searching for pictures to share, I found the picture attached to this post. The beautiful smiling faces you see are my Uncle Howard and my Aunt Theresa, my Mom’s brother and his wife. When this picture fell out of the stack, I was surprised because it was the first time I’d seen it. After downsizing at least four times in the past two years, how had this picture escaped me? I sent it to my cousin, Tracy, their daughter, and she had never seen it either. I sent it to my sister, Sue. It was a new one for her as well.

It was a little odd in an eerie kinda creepy sort of way–a hard copy, love filled message sent to us all from Heaven, I guess.

With that I am taking my weary bones to bed for some much-needed rest. I feel like I was  given an extra credit assignment for not passing this latest life lesson. It took a toll.

I send you all my love.

I am…

B…simply being…

Peace.

 

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Resources

I had forgotten how comforting it was to have a resource to turn to when I needed some type of encouragement. We all have to do our own soul-searching. What is good to know is we have other resources out there to help us along the way. Advisors we can keep close to us–just an arm’s length–like my little book, A Guide for the Advanced Soul.

I have several “advisors” sitting close by me. I’ll call them in for consultation often and share their words of wisdom. It’s all part of why I believe we are here–to help each other in our journey. Heaven knows, we need that type of help right now. We are all questioning so many basic things.

Venice Bloodworth was introduced to me by my husband, Michael. She was someone totally new to me until he shared her book. Now her book is another one in the front row of my go to authors/advisors whenever I need someone to make sense of things. Someone to renew my hope in–well–something.

Venice wrote her book, The Key to Yourself, in the 50’s. The copyright of the book we have on our shelf is 1952–a year before I was born. I’m not sure why I even noticed that but it made a really big impression on me. She wrote then what many of us read a few years ago thinking it was the first time someone had written it. Her wording is a little cumbersome today, but that makes it even more special to me. An example from a quote she credits to “Selected” which begins Chapter 3:

The Conscious Mind

If you think you are beaten, you are; If you think you dar not, you don’t; If you’d like to wind, but you think you can’t, It’s almost a cinch you won’t’ If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost, For out in the world you’ll find success begins with a fellow’s will; It’s all in the state of the mind. 

Later in that chapter she says: It is strange that we so long failed to understand the wonderful power of thought, for it is taught by every religion and philosophy in the history of the world. Paul, when in captivity and chained to a Roman solder, gave to the world this message:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are  just, whatsoever things ar pure, whatsoever things are lovely, and of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.. 

I, like many, am troubled by what is unfolding around us. I am unsure what to do other than try to find a way to help each other through it all until we can figure out what to do next. Our minds are powerful. As Venice says, if we think we’ll lose, we have lost. We–all of us–have to rediscover our own power. Look for our advisors–whether it is by talking with each other or rediscovering words like these shared by those who have passed this way before us.

I am.

B…simply being…

God bless you all with love and peace.

 

 

 

 

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Be Kind…

Our world has become so busy it is difficult for any of us to be patient.

My patience was put to the test today. As a fairly new person to the retired world, I am still learning. A note for other new members–social security payday is Wednesday. The message here is that Wednesday and Thursday may not be the best day to shop. Especially if you live in a community with a lot of retired people.

Sigh…

Cell phone use is dangerous in many situations. Cell phone use while shopping is probably not dangerous–although today it was pushing every hot button remaining on my personal dashboard. From what I observed today, aging does not improve your ability to multitask. Talking on the phone and grocery shopping in a very busy  grocery store will not make you friends. Be warned, my friends. Those of you shopping and those of you talking. Take my warning to heart, be aware, and be kind.

We have so many resources at our finger tips but so little time for each other. If I could make my own rule for a day, my rule would be NO electronics for that entire day. Listen not only to those around you but to your environment. Listen to the wind, the birds, the people around you. Talk to each other. Have eye contact. If you have not done that for a while, make eye contact and feel the power.

In this world where we are alerted with every change in the “world-wide web”, I wonder if I don’t know more about “movie stars” than I do about my own family?

The weekend is coming. Earth Day was last weekend–maybe this could be Human Day or Person Day or…whatever you want to call it. I suggest we all be more aware. Pay attention to our personal interactions. The phone will always be there. The person we are with may not–cherish them and the moment. We all have heard the stories of how things can change in a second. It will not always be someone else. Some day the regret of those lost minutes will catch up with us all.

I am

B…simply being…

Love and peace, y’all.