Tag: awareness

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An Unmarked Highway

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I–I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the diffence.” ~Robert Frost

I have not posted in a very long time. The little voice in my head kept telling me I needed to do some work before I wrote into the next chapter of my life.. 

I’ve been on a long journey searching for myself. 

I have discovered many things. Some have taken some time to process. Some are waiting patiently for me to share.  

My path has not been smooth or even clearly marked in places. It appears I am not only directionally challenged when driving my car. 

A few things I know for sure:

  • It is up to me to show and do the work. No one can do that for me.
  • I have been given so many teachers who have guided and encouraged me.
  • Not all teachers are human.
  • It is up to me to teach others.

And so it will be.   

Peace.  

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Magic

“I do believe in an everyday sort of magic — the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we’re alone.” 

― Charles de Lint

I doubt I am the only person feeling alone lately. A feeling made more intense because our world seems less and less familiar as unprecedented events unfold before us on daily basis.

I’m learning the importance of slowing down so I can appreciate the small things around me.

While watering a week or so ago, doing my usual slow shuffle around the yard, I looked down and saw the rock included in today’s story. As you can see, the outline of the heart is irregular and the overall condition of the heart could be described as rough–all symbolism that seemed so appropriate for these days.

Again, I don’t think I’m the only one feeling a little beat up and worn down these days. My intuition tells me this rock was literally on my path to show me I was not alone. I smiled as I  picked up my newest treasure, brushed it off, and put it in my pocket. After some more cleaning my latest heart rock resides beside my computer where it reminds me of my own inner beauty and strength–chips and all.

“We need to be open to ways in which we are being spoken to and in which we are receiving some form of communication. Some people call them signs. Open your heart and allow yourself to be touched by them. They are often stunning expressions of your place in the universe.” 

― Susan Barbara Apollon, Touched by the Extraordinary

 Not long after this Michael was talking with our insurance company updating information. As he chatted with the agent, he asked the young woman where she was located. I saw his eyes get big as he listened to her reply. The next thing I heard him say was that I was from Iowa, too, and asked what part of Iowa she was from. Her reply was, Tama County, Iowa.

What?

Nicole was talking to us from the little county I grew up in and her sister had once been the Tama County Pork Queen.

How cool is all this? It was like a shot of adrenaline!

What are the odds he’d call and get to talk with someone from my hometown area?

This was another reminder the world is pretty messed up right now but there are still good things and good people in it. I just need to take a breath, stop, look around, and appreciate all the gifts scattered along the way.

“To experience more synchronicity and ‘coincidences’ we need to listen and be aware of the world around us and also our intuition.

That’s how the universe speaks to itself, it’s an ongoing flow of information that comes from both the outside and from within.

Pay attention to how the universe speaks to you today and participate in the flow by being attentive and by listening to your inner voice.” 

― Maria Erving

I am…

B…simply being.

~Peace~

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Awareness Meets Self

“What if you spent some alone time every morning? Call it prayer. Call it planning. Call it centering. I call it a powerful way to begin the day.” 

― Steve Goodier

I’ve become aware I’ve missed my early morning hours.

It was those predawn moments when I’d write my gratitudes, read, and reach out to loved ones.

My soul needs me to find that time.

I’ve prepared by bringing out my journal and making my first reading selections for 2020. My year of awareness taught me unless I have everything in place, I will lose precious time making minute decisions.

Tomorrow will be the beginning of putting self care first.

I like it.

“Self-love is not the process of ignoring things, paying attention to fewer flaws or forcing yourself to look away from the parts of you that you perceive as ugly or unwanted. Self-love is the process of expanding your awareness, of seeing those flaws and imperfections alongside the incredible potential of the universe flowing within you, alongside the eternal truth of life flowing within your veins in each second, alongside the flickers of creativity and opportunity present within each moment of your existence. Like this, the imperfections persist, but only as lovable quirks, like a bad doorknob on the front door of a cottage in paradise, like a few thorns on a beautiful rose, like a cloud in a sunset. Like this, what was once unwanted becomes essential, memorable, humbling.” 

― Vironika Tugaleva

I am…

B…simply being. 

~Peace~

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A Mile Marker

“Just like a GPS, the universe sends you signs to show you the best course. If you follow the flow, you get where you want with ease and happiness. If you miss a turn, the road becomes longer and harder.” 

― Charbel Tadros

On Saturday we went to an estate sale. I questioned whether or not we should go because it was the second day of the sale. Because it was the second day of a three day sale my expectations of finding anything were very low.

Sometimes God gives you encouragement when you least expect it.

As we walked up to the sale, I found the two baskets pictured above outside of the front door. The baskets caught my attention immediately. I shook my head and laughed to myself, thinking someone else had been a rock collector. It was mid chuckle that I realized that both baskets were filled with heart rocks–and one of my dad’s favorite things, a wooden nickel.

For me it was a subtle message from God telling me I was on course and doing just fine.

I went through each basket yesterday with a heart filled with thanks. Some of the rocks were dated along with initials. Some rocks took a lot of imagination to see the heart shape. As I turned both my head and the rocks, I wondered if these were the ones found by the grandkids. As I slowly examined each stone, I began to feel as though I’d been appointed their long awaited caretaker.

With this thought in mind, I searched for just the right place to share the blessings.

Most of them surround my little monk and St. Francis. The smaller ones found their way to places in our home where they will share continue to encourage me by way of their unique energy.

 

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“We need to be open to ways in which we are being spoken to and in which we are receiving some form of communication. Some people call them signs. Open your heart and allow yourself to be touched by them. They are often stunning expressions of your place in the universe.” 

― Susan Barbara Apollon, Touched by the Extraordinary

I am…

B…simply being. 

~Peace~

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A Case of the Guilts

“I’ve got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts – you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn’t do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing.” 

― D.D. Barant, Dying Bites

Yesterday was a day full of reality checks.

My first check point was at the vet’s office. Oh, this has not been a good place for me this year. Yesterday it was time for Bud to have his annual rabies vaccine plus I wanted him to have a basic check up. In a few months he will be fourteen years old. Holy Cow, in small dog years he’s eighty some years old.

With that thought firmly ingrained in my mind, I thought I was prepared to hear anything the vet told us. I was not really ready to hear he had a significant heart murmur. All my years in imaging and doing echocardiograms flew into action in an attempt to put up some huge wall in order to defend my dog and my own ultra sensitive dog loving heart. I had to let my past go in order to hear the cautions voiced by Dr. Lauren. As I listened, I filed all my worries away, a pseudo coping method I’d devised over the years so I could randomly pull each and every one out later. Until lately, I thought this was one of my best stress management skills. With all the negatives stashed away, I went on about my day.

The next check point was my dentist. I’d been dreading this trip for a very long time. As it turned out–surprise–my anxiety was wasted. Every part of my visit went well. The reality was paying out of pocket for dental care. Because dental care is so important to overall health maintenance, I don’t understand why there isn’t affordable care for all–a subject that warrants its own story time.

Early this morning all those concerns and worries I’d stashed away resurfaced and wanted my full attention. They had all jumped out of their little file folders and wanted immediate attention.

The neon sticker was flashing on the Bud folder.

My little 18 pound dog who’d been such an important part of my life for nearly fourteen years was aging faster than I’d appreciated. I’d taken his companionship for granted. The sand in the giant Wizard of Oz hourglass was running fast and running low.

My Bud teaches me every single day what matters most is simply showing up and being beside those you love. No matter where the day takes you, be there, in that moment, share your toys after an appropriate amount of time, be persistent in asking for what you want, especially those treats, and, most of all, at the end of the day,  cuddle up as close as you can.

Thanks, my Bud. I love you.

Yes, that awareness work I’ve been doing? I think God just did a test of my emergency alert system.

I believe He’s telling me I have some work to do.

“People say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone…truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought you’d never lose it.” 

― Nitya Prakash

I am…

B…simply being. 

~Peace~

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dreaming

“Why Dream?

Life is a difficult assignment. We are fragile creatures, expected to function at high rates of speed, and asked to accomplish great and small things each day. These daily activities take enormous amounts of energy. Most things are out of our control. We are surrounded by danger, frustration, grief, and insanity as well as love, hope, ecstasy, and wonder. Being fully human is an exercise in humility, suffering, grace, and great humor. Things and people all around us die, get broken, or are lost. There is no safety or guarantees.

The way to accomplish the assignment of truly living is to engage fully, richly, and deeply in the living of your dreams. We are made to dream and to live those dreams.” 

― S.A.R.K., Make Your Creative Dreams Real: A Plan for Procrastinators, Perfectionists, Busy People, and People Who Would Really Rather Sleep All Day

One of my friends posted a question on Facebook today.

She asked, if you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

Interesting thought for a Monday. I’ve always felt that Mondays were the best days to start planning any kind of escape.

Thanks, Deb, for sparking my brain and giving me a day of focused dreaming.

As images of Ireland, Hawaii, Fuji, and the Colorado mountains flashed through my mind, I realized it’d been a very long time since I’d spent any time dreaming.

That awareness made me a little sad.

I wondered when and why I’d stopped dreaming?

It’s time for that to change.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 

― H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You

I am…

B…simply being. 

~Peace, be with you, my friends. May your resurrect your very own dreams today.~

Dear Glynis, thank you for letting me share this picture of Sherrie’s garden. I am honored and so very thankful for this and for you. 

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Little Moments

“It probably wouldn’t last. It never does. But it would come back around again. That’s how life works. And that’s why it’s important to treasure the peaceful times-so you can persevere through the other kind.” 

― Jean Ferris, Thrice Upon a Marigold

The past few months have been difficult.

Yesterday I found myself stuck in some tearful moments.

July 1, 2019, marked two months since I said good bye to my precious Ruby and three months since I said good bye to my little man, Duffy.

I was sad.

As the tears flowed,  I missed them both even more because that would have been the time when they’d worm their way close to me and find some goofy way to cheer me up. Just simply leaning against my leg or pulling at my shoe string would make me smile.

I miss them.

Every single day, I miss them.

Today, I sat and watched and laughed at the outlandish spirit of our Abby and thanked God for the strength of our twelve year old, Bud.

What I’m discovering is the empty place in my heart is pulling in all the little things I never would have noticed. I would have been too busy to sit and watch Abby race around the yard and Bud patiently waiting for her to “do her business.” Watching a puppy push their limits, learning how to climb and jump and trust you to always be there for them.

Retirement has given me the gift of time. My awareness of the magnitude of this blessing grows stronger daily.

Dear God, 

I thank you for the growth in the awareness of my many blessings.

I am grateful for the expanding gift of patience which allows me to take time to actually see the many layers my gifts often contain. 

God, thank you for the many loving souls surrounding me and the sweet memories of those who are with you now.  

I ask you to send your angels to comfort those who have also lost loved ones.  May they find solace in your love and continue to heal knowing they are never alone.  Amen.

Barbara Jo Burton Hibdon

I am…

B…simply being. 

~Peace be with you, my friends.~

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Kindness

“A random act of kindness, no matter how small, can make a tremendous impact on someone else’s life.” 

― Roy Bennett

Yesterday was a tough day for me.

We were finishing up a few days of dog sitting and I knew our two “guests” would be leaving soon.

Having two extra dogs kept me busy. What that really means is my mind had been completely occupied. As I packed things up for our visitors to head home, I was hit with memories of Duffy and Ruby.

Once again, I was caught off guard.

Even little Abby tried to console me. As I was getting dress she kept coming up and grabbing at my shoe strings–just like Duffy used to do. Her completely perfect and innocent actions created a whole new flood of tears.

God bless her little intuitive soul.

All this meant I had to find something to do.

Of course, my job of choice was and always will be–working in the yard.

After I finished weeding and watering our newest plants, Michael asked me to take a break. As I sat down he handed me his tall insulated glass full of ice water along with a beautiful little bouquet of violas.

In my typical form, I said thank you as I took a few small sips of water, jumped up, and continued on with my work.

Also holding true to my usual form, I pushed this perfect gift to the back of my mind.

Luckily he took this picture.

I found it earlier today in my morning messages.

Ummm, yes, awareness is my word for the year for a very good reason.

I fought the tears and ran outside

From human eye I’d try to hide

But there are Eyes that always see

He ever watches over me

And so He sent a gentle breeze

to kiss my cheek and comfort me.

And look who came to write with me today.

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I am…

B…simply being.

~Peace~

 

 

 

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Patience

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” 

― David G. Allen

Life lessons come whether you’re ready or not–I’ve been reminded of that important fact this past month.

I’d become very comfortable with the status quo. I’d had this illusion of what my future held and I’d assumed things would follow that path.

I was pretty much 100% wrong.

I’ve been reminded life can change in a fraction of a second and in ways I’d never imagined. I’ve been reminded loss takes many forms, making it so important to love all those in your life without reserve. I’ve been reminded how one loss can change so many other things I’d never realized were intertwined. I’ve been reminded to pay attention to my word for the year–awareness–prompting me to stay mindful, slow down, and appreciate all aspects of my life. I’ve been reminded to stay in the present because those planned tomorrows are never promised. I’ve been reminded of the importance of my tight little cluster of friends as I’ve experienced the amazing kindness of strangers. Once again, I’ve been reminded of the depth and darkness of grief along with the renewed knowledge my faith is resilient and strong.

Most of all, I’ve been reminded to trust in myself, in my family and friends, and most of all–in God.

“No matter how close we are to another person, few human relationships are as free from strife, disagreement, and frustration as is the relationship you have with a good dog. Few human beings give of themselves to another as a dog gives of itself. I also suspect that we cherish dogs because their unblemished souls make us wish – consciously or unconsciously – that we were as innocent as they are, and make us yearn for a place where innocence is universal and where the meanness, the betrayals, and the cruelties of this world are unknown.” 

― Dean Koontz, A Big Little Life: A Memoir of a Joyful Dog

I am…

B…simply being.

~Peace~

“People leave imprints on our lives, shaping who we become in much the same way that a symbol is pressed into the page of a book to tell you who it comes from. Dogs, however, leave paw prints on our lives and our souls, which are as unique as fingerprints in every way.” 

― Ashly LorenzanaIMG_1457

 

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