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Christmas Eve Eve

May you have the gift of faith, the blessing of hope and the peace of His love at Christmas and always. 

I simply ran out of time yesterday and something had to take a backseat. The easiest and least complicated thing to put on the back burner was my storytelling. I appeased myself by making the promise it would be done immediately after my morning were completed.

It was dogwash day yesterday which ended up taking much longer than I expected. Our three dogs are great for their baths but by the time dog number three is in the tub, my back and shoulders were protesting loudly. The reward is immediate and wonderful–all three dogs and our house smell so much better.

Time is running short for pre-Christmas activities. Today Michael and I get to go to the Walk of Lights here in Marble Falls. The picture is from last year’s visit. I am looking forward to spending time with our friends Dayne and Donna. This year, Sara, their oldest daughter and their grandson Evan are joining us. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything better than to have the opportunity to “see” Christmas through the innocent eyes of a child.

If you are searching for the last-minute gift, let me share a gift idea with you that friends of ours gave each other last year. I thought it was perfect.

Jim and Ann, have two adult children. Ann suggested they give each other the gift of time in 2017. Kevin, their son, went on a backpacking trip with Jim this past summer; Elizabeth and Ann went to New York City the first part of December. It was the priceless gift of time and adventure. We can all go to the store or go online in order to fulfill that gift requirement. Committing yourself and gifting your time is a present on an entirely different level. If you are stumped on what to get that very important person in your life, think about making your own gift certificate of time. Seems to me to be a true win/win situation.

“If you take Christmas to heart and get past the anxieties in arranging for gifts and parties, you will rediscover yourself every year at this time and experience a birth in yourself, just like the one so beautifully described in the Gospel stories. It will be a celebration of both the birth of Jesus and the birth of your soul”
― Thomas Moore

Enjoy this Christmas weekend and each other.

I am…

B…simply being…

God bless you all and keep you safe on your travels.

 

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The Best Gift

“Someone once said: “We do not make friends, we recognize them.” And you’ll know who they are because they play according to the same rules that you do.”
― Ken Niimura, Gotham Academy #16

Someone once told me that he did not have many friends. I was just amazed at that statement. From my young point of view, it seemed he had many friends. He must have noticed my surprised look because he went on to explain to me that he had many acquaintances, but very few friends.

Because I was young, I did not and could not fully appreciate the difference he was trying to point out to me.  As I’ve aged and my life experiences have grown, I understand and I agree.

I have been very lucky in my life with the friends I have made along the way. This past summer I was able to spend some time with one of the best. Thank you, Mary Beth, for opening up your home to me and spending an evening like the old days, talking, eating, and sharing wine around the kitchen table. I love and cherish you.

Our lives were different but so similar. We both worked with the public. Over the years, she was in law enforcement in one capacity or another and I was in healthcare. We’d whine together when we were both on call and wine together when we were not. We loved our dogs and watched over each other’s pups whenever we needed that type of help. Mary Beth–MB–was mostly single and I was alone often because Michael traveled a lot for his job. Because of that being on call thing, there were times when we needed each other to take care of each other’s furry family. We were across the street neighbors for almost twenty years.

We grew older together and it was comforting to have another woman to talk with about how life and the world were changing. Our conversations were all over the board because of the type of work we both had done over the years. We’d both seen people at their worst and at their best. Living these types of experiences daily over many years gave us both a very unique viewpoint on life. Add into that equation the fact we were living in the Denver area, we had a wide array of alternative lifestyle information to discuss and teach each other. What a hoot to share what I knew about things and compare that with what MB knew–the cop vs the healthcare worker. We really could and should write a book.

Mary Beth moved from the hood a few years before we left. It was painful for me to see her go–but her new home in the foothills called to her too strongly. It is beautiful and I am so thankful she shares it with me whenever I get back to Denver to visit.

‘Tis the season to appreciate those who are important to you. I cannot imagine my life without her even though we are nearly a thousand miles away from each other now. Man, I miss those nights when we could just walk across the street to share the wine and stumble back across the street afterward.

Take a moment, my friends, to think about those who care for and about you. As I have learned, a real friend is rare and precious. Treasure them and let them know how important they are to you.

If there is anything this past year has tried to teach us all is the fact that life is precious. In a blink of an eye, that rock that makes up so much of the foundation of your life is built upon can tumble. Bolster it up and hold on to that and them for as long as you can.

“Friendships – and indeed most relationships – are measured in the closeness of hearts,
minds and soul ties… not in the distance of physical miles or even the passing of time.”
― Rasheed Ogunlaru

I am…

B…simply being…

Love and peace, my dear friends.

 

 

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The Rest of The Story

“… it’s a blessed thing to love and feel loved in return.”
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

Today I’m adding to my story from yesterday. I think it will make you chuckle.

It wasn’t long ago I learned one important detail about the blind date scenario I shared with you yesterday. When the backstory was revealed, I had to smile. It was so typical of my life and so characteristic of Michael and Sue.

Sue, our matchmaker friend you met yesterday, had been trying to get Michael to call me for as long as she’d been trying to get me to accept his call. The little detail Sue did not tell me was Michael had been asking her out. As she tried to sell him on me, he insisted he was not interested in some other girl in Denver, he was interested in her. As time and life moved on and lives evolved, Sue told Michael she’d made some important decisions. She was moving to Michigan and getting married. After sharing her plans, she told Michael she’d talked with me and I’d agreed to talk with him after I returned from vacation. Hearing Sue was planning her wedding, Michael recovered with the indestructible spirit of a true salesman, agreeing to call me.

While I was at my reunion, Michael was scuba diving in Roatan. Although our experiences were very different, we both returned to Denver ready to take the risks needed in order to move on with our lives.

As far as that lunch date, Michael clearly heard DeeDee call out “5” as she talked with me. Here I thought I was being so clever! I was busted before I even met him. He was surprised he only rated a “5” but never thought twice about it–he knew he was far more than a mediocre “5.”

Over the years, Michael’s taught me there are many more important things than work. He opened my eyes to the fact that the world was ours to explore. We did that and we are looking forward to exploring much more. I conquered my fear of heights, flying with him in hot air balloons. I’d always loved the water but discovered the ocean was a scary force for me as I worked to learn to scuba dive. Passing my open water exams was like climbing a mountain for me. With him by my side, I conquered that, realizing I could do whatever I set my mind to do.

I made another discovery as I copied the picture for today’s story. The attached photo is probably from our first Children’s Cardiology Christmas party. I noticed today that our table number was–yup– you’re right–table number 5.

“Is this how it goes? You fall in love, and nothing seems truly scary anymore, and life is one big possibility?”
― Jenny Han, Always and Forever, Lara Jean

I am…

B…simply being…

Love Y’all.

Peace

 

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She’s Got a Great Personality…

“At the blind date,
deafen your ears
to hear the words
spoken with her eyes.”
― Khang Kijarro Ngu

My friend, Sue, had been trying to get me to go out with a friend and co-worker of hers for months. I’d just had one of the worst blind-date experiences ever a few months before we had this conversation–I swore I would never ever ever go on another blind date.

The picture above was taken this past summer when we were in Denver. That is our good friend and matchmaker, Sue, on the left. We love her.

I knew Sue. She was not going to give up. We’d known each other for years, meeting when she sold our department a new ultrasound machine. We were both young, alone, and single in Denver in the mid-eighties. But Sue’s life was about to change. She’d left the ultrasound world, working for a company who manufactured isolettes and warmers. Not only had Sue had a job change, she was in the process of moving back to Michigan and planning her wedding.

Sue and I met for dinner one last time before she left Denver. I was excited for her but I was very sad she’d be so far away.  As a way to get her off the blind date subject, I agreed to talk with her friend after I returned from my 20th high school reunion. Great, Sue said, he’s on vacation now, too. She said she’d leave him a message when she got back to Michigan and to expect a call from him.

Going home to Iowa was just what I needed. I was able to see my family as well as old coworkers and friends. The reunion was well attended, reuniting people from near and far. The halls of West High had been in our past long enough we were more interested in really talking with each other again than trying to impress each other.

I returned to Denver feeling I’d experienced closure on some old high school and other life dramas. I was ready to move on with my life.

Tuesday, August 13, 1991, I was in my office when the front desk called. DeeDee, one of the front desk staff, told me I had a call–a guy named Michael, could I take the call?Well…that was the name of Sue’s friend…I said yes.

I talked with Michael for a few minutes. He asked if I could go out for lunch? He apologized for such short notice. He’d just returned from vacation and had to come down to Children’s for an appointment. Would that work for me?

I checked with my co-workers and they were thrilled to hear that I had a lunch date. Yes, we all knew each other very well. They’d gladly cover so I could go out for lunch.

I told Michael I could go. He said he’d be there to pick me up at 11:30.

I quickly called the front desk, telling DeeDee I had a date for lunch. Her hooting could be heard without the need of the telephone connection–something that I should have heeded and taken into account when I made my next request. When the teasing subsided, I asked her to give me a number when she called back to tell me he was there–a rating of how he looked to her–a number between one and ten. I was feeling pretty smug in my game plan and went off to finish my morning schedule.

At 11:30 on the dot, my phone rang. I answered and I heard–again without really needing the phone connection, ” BARB, HE’S HERE. I’D SAY 5.” 

Well…that was subtle. Maybe he wasn’t listening or wasn’t paying attention to the Olympic style grading system going on at our front desk.

I did a quick mirror check, smiled at my co-workers, and headed to the front lobby. DeeDee nodded her head toward the chairs along the far wall and I headed that way.

Honest to God, it was like time went into slow motion. He was looking at his DayTimer and looked up as I approached. I remember his white shirt, khaki pants, and pastel, Monet type tie. When our eyes met, I felt as though I’d met an old and very important friend. We shook hands and headed off to lunch.

What I didn’t know was Michael had worked at Children’s when he first came to Denver as a respiratory therapist. He knew many of the physicians I worked with better than I did. When we walked into the restaurant for lunch, the large table in front was full of many of the neonatologists from the hospital–all shouting greetings to us both, commenting, “Wow, we did not know you two were dating.”

We both laughed, explained our first date status, and hurried off to have lunch–generous as my co-workers were–our time was tight.

Our conversation was so easy because we shared so many common things. From our mutual friend, Sue, to all the docs we both worked with in the past and now, and stories about our recent vacations, time flew quickly.

As he walked me back to the office, he asked when we could have a “real date.” I told him I was on call and really didn’t want to go out when I was on call. The odds of me getting called in were just too high. At that time, we covered call for a week at a time. I suggested we get together next week. What I really wanted to say was, “How about tonight?”

I walked into the office and I swear I swooned. I looked at my co-worker, Ruthanne, telling her I felt I’d just met the man I was going to marry. This was coming from a person who swore over and over again, she’d never ever get married again.

I did not know what to expect. I’d resigned myself to the fact I’d see him in a week. On Thursday, he called and asked if we could go out over the weekend. As luck would have it, the department was going out Friday after work because one of the old Irish pubs downtown was closing. I asked if he’d be interested in joining us–especially since he knew so many people anyway. He agreed.

And that, my dear friends, was the beginning of our twenty-six years together.

This is what I wrote in my journal the evening of August 17, 1991:

I met a very important man Tuesday, August 13. I do believe I am already in love with him. We went for lunch Tuesday. He met me after work Friday and had drinks with the people from work. How wonderful to have a man look at you all night and continue to tell you how beautiful you are! To quote Michael, “Wow-oh-wow.” We ate at Marlowe’s–had a carriage ride with “Peggy and Bob.” This is how it’s supposed to be~

So–yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and there is such a thing as love at first sight.

I am…

B…simply being…

Love and Peace, my friends. God bless.

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Countdown

“The Christmas tree is a symbol of love, not money. There’s a kind of glory to them when they’re all lit up that exceeds anything all the money in the world could buy.”
― Andy Rooney, Andy Rooney: 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit

December 15th. Ten days until Christmas. Don’t you remember how time seemed to slow down so much after this day?

I remember my Mom giving me an old calendar to cross off the days as they passed. Oh, that seemed like such a huge responsibility to me.

Did I make my mark in the morning as the day began or in the evening after supper? When I made my X, did I cross off the whole day with a complete X? If I split my X, making one part of the X in the morning and the other side of the X that evening, I had something to look forward to as the day wore on.

Heaven help that sister who completed that X before I did! Those very loud fights nearly cost me my calendar more than once!

I remember at least one Christmas when we did not have a tree as Christmas drew near. The year I’m remembering was when I was in third grade. This was a tough year for me because there were several changes. One of the biggest changes was moving from our house on first street to our real house up the hill on fourth street. This move changed our lives a lot–we now had our own home–which was important to my Dad–owning a house and no longer being a “renter.” With my more “mature” eyes, I’m thinking this probably put some strain on the budget, which was always described to me as “tight.” One other part of this move was the fact my teacher was now my next door neighbor. I’m not sure why that was so hard for me–maybe because I was young, unable to separate Mrs. Stoakes role as my teacher from Mrs. Stoakes, my neighbor.

It was the tradition at that time to have a Christmas tree in each classroom. I can see this tree very well–a short needled tree standing on a wooden cross that’d been nailed into the base of the tree. For all the time the tree had been in our classroom, this tree had not had any water. More and more of the dried needles surrounded the tree daily, poking your arms as you walked by on the way to sharpen pencils.

The last day of school, after the Christmas party, the trees from each classroom were offered to families in need of a tree. Mrs. Stoakes made the offer and no one spoke up. I was old enough to understand that speaking up for this tree would put a certain light on not just me, but my family. But…we did not have a tree and I’d overheard that we could not afford a tree this year. My little kid mind was working fast and furiously.

That was a big tree, how would I get it home? Dad would be so angry with me if he had to take off work just to come up to the school to pick up a tree. But, if we didn’t have a tree, would Santa come? Oh, come on, did I really believe that Santa story anymore? No. Who could still believe that old crazy story? But…what…

As the debate went on in my head, one of the other kids spoke up and that option for a tree was gone.

Even though we did not have a tree, we had presents from our relatives stacking up on one of the end tables. Having those wrapped presents made me believe  Santa would definitely come–tree or no tree. I was so sad about that–a feeling I did not attempt to disguise from my Dad. I just knew he could not be serious and I never missed a chance to question him about the status of our tree.

The days marched on. It was December 23–Christmas Eve Eve. No tree. I gave up–my hope is gone–we would not have a tree this year.

Christmas Eve morning arrived. It was cold and cloudy–maybe we’d have a white Christmas. As I walked out of the bedroom and towards the living room, I could see colors reflected on the window pane–there in front of the three of us was a brightly decorated and lighted Christmas tree.

I will always remember the joy of seeing that tree. I think having my prayer for a tree answered that year was the best present ever.

“This Christmas mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love, and then speak it again.”
― Howard W. Hunter

I am…

B…simply being…

Love and peace to Y’all.

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“The greatest fear dogs know is the fear that you will not come back when you go out the door without them.”
― Stanley Coren

I saved my neighbor’s dog this morning. Well, that may be a little overstated. Whatever you want to call it, I feel like I did a good thing today.

Our neighborhood is very quiet. We know the few people close to us, but we don’t know everyone. There is a young couple who lives a block from us. They have a toddler and a young herding-type dog. I’ve noticed the last few days on our walks that the dog was not in the backyard. All the family cars were gone so I assumed they were gone for a few days and had taken the dog.

This morning on our walk, I mentioned not seeing the dog to Michael. No sooner had I finished that statement, he saw this little dog ahead of us on the road. As we continued our walk, we watched for him. On the final leg of our walk, turning towards our driveway, I spotted the dog sitting in his front yard. Great! Maybe I can get him back into the fenced backyard.

He was not happy to see me walk his way. The closer I walked to him, the faster he raced away from me. I had some treats stashed in my pocket but even using the “treat” word made no difference in our game of tag.

I checked out the gates to see if he had gotten the latch undone. Both gates were closed and latched shut. I walked around the backyard to see if he had food and water. Both bowls were full of clean food and fresh water. At a loss for what else to do, I decided to leave the gates ajar in hopes he would go inside to rest, eat and drink.

I walked home to write a note to leave on their door, telling the young couple I’d seen their dog running in the neighborhood and had left both gates open so he could get back in the yard. Because of their toddler and not knowing when they’d be home, I didn’t want them to come home in the dark to an unsecured backyard. With my note taped to my hand, I strolled back to the neighbors. Walking up to the porch, I saw their little dog looking out at me from behind the fence. Success!

I closed and latched both gates, hung a postscript to my original note, and headed home.

I am so thankful we saw him and were able to get him safely back in his yard. I feel like I’ve accomplished something today–it cost me nothing but a little time and perseverance.

This little adventure made me think of people traveling with or without their pets this holiday season. If you have not updated your pet’s ID tag lately, do a quick review of the following:

  • Are the pet’s name and your contact information legible?
  • Is your contact information current? You might want to have your cell phone number on the tags in case you are traveling with the dog. For back-up, have two contact phone numbers instead of a home address.
  • Check to make sure your pet’s collar is in good condition and all tags are attached securely. One of our dogs likes to play by grabbing onto our other dog’s collars. Over time, this type of play resulted in separating one of the rings attached to the chip ID information. By the time I realized this was happening, the chip ID had fallen off and the other tags barely hanging on.
  • If you are leaving your pet at home, consider letting your neighbors know in case your pet gets out as your pet sitter comes into the house or yard. If your pet is not used to being left alone, he or she may get anxious in your absence and find a way to escape and set out to find you.

“I like dogs
Big dogs
Little dogs
Fat dogs
Doggy dogs
Old dogs
Puppy dogs
I like dogs
A dog that is barking over the hill
A dog that is dreaming very still
A dog that is running wherever he will
I like dogs.”
― Margaret Wise Brown, The Friendly Book

I am…

B…simply being…

Love to all my two and four-legged friends.

Peace

 

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The Gift of Laughter

Re-posting from December, 2017, because it is just such a great memory. Love you Doug and Lana Flemmer.

The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far, but we will walk carefully.  

Russian Proverb.

Oh, the holidays are so stressful. Honestly, I am feeling some stress this year because I have no stress–zip–nothing–nada.

Let me remind you all that it is okay–really okay–to say no. You do not have to accept every invitation or attend every gathering or buy every single person who ever entered your life a gift. It’s okay to say no and it’s okay to say no without some excuse. You, my friend, need time to unwind and relax. You cannot give to others without taking some time to recharge your own batteries.

For all my recently retired friends, know that your retirement is not the time for you to run errands or take care of all your still working family and friends. No guilt trips allowed. No excuses necessary. Now it is finally time to take care of YOU.

“I lied and said I was busy.
I was busy;
but not in a way most people understand.

I was busy taking deeper breaths.
I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.
I was busy calming a racing heart.
I was busy telling myself I am okay.

Sometimes, this is my busy –
and I will not apologize for it.”
― Brittin Oakman

I am…

B…simply being…

God bless.

Love and peace, Y’all.

 

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My Touchstones

“We’re so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past, like ancient stars that have burned out, are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are just too many things we have to think about every day, too many new things we have to learn. New styles, new information, new technology, new terminology … But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

Writing has certainly uncovered some long-lost memories these past few months. Today I found one of the best so far.

Okay, this song sheet looks a little worse for wear and definitely met up with some coffee somewhere over the years. None of that takes anything away from the memories this packet of Christmas carols contains.

How I wish we would have taken pictures! We started our night of caroling as soon as we felt everyone had time to have dinner. For us, our night of caroling had a little flare of trick or treating mixed into the evening events. At each stop, we sang our planned carol followed by sharing a hot toddy or two. The later was a definite plus on a cold Iowa December evening.

Oh, what a night and what a wonderful gift–then and now.

I am…

B…simply being…

Love and Peace Y’all.

 

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Wish Book

Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.  Dr. Seuss

Over the weekend I was thumbing through the AARP Bulletin. There on the top of page four, above the headline of Medicare 2018, on the In the News page, was this little note:

“Looking to connect with boomer nostalgia, Sears is publishing its holiday “Wish Book” for the first time since 2011. Launched in 1933, the catalog let generations of children dream of their perfect Christmas morning. In 1991, the “Wish Book” totaled 806 pages; this year it will be 120 pages.”

I had to laugh since I’d just written about catalog dreaming and shopping. I’d forgotten it was called the “Wish Book.” When I read how small the “Wish Book” will be this year, I could feel my smile slipping away. My first thought was, guess Sears made the first list edit for me. Then I thought how just the sheer size of that catalog was part of the thrill and the excitement of the whole thing. Really. It was gigantic. I had to use both hands to carry it around. When I was very young, the Christmas catalog was one of the biggest books I’d ever seen–for sure the biggest book I’d ever held in my hands.

Maybe finding that little note was not such a great find? Maybe we all would have been better off not knowing the revival of a beloved tradition was done on such a small, sad scale.

Maybe it’s better for us all to remember:

Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.  Mary Ellen Chase. 

I am…

B…simply being…

Sending you all love.

Peace

 

 

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A Self-Care Friday

 

Today was a self-care day.

I’d been putting off my routine mammograms for a long time. Not good, you’re saying. You’re right, I say agreeing. In our current healthcare arena, there’ve been many factors playing into the delay.

The first challenge was my first Texas primary care physician and his office staff.  They were not fast at returning calls or efficient faxing orders to correct places. Once those boxes were checked off, I discovered successfully talking with a scheduling person was going to be my next obstacle. After many missed connections, I learned the imaging center I’d been referred to did not take my insurance. If I wanted to use this facility, the exam would be at my cost.

Start over.

Because so much time had elapsed, I now had different insurance. Compliments of the Healthcare Market Place changes, I now needed to find a new primary care physician. This inconvenience ended up being a plus. After hours researching physicians all across my area, I found a doctor who listens to me, answers my questions, and responds to me quickly. I can “talk” to him by email, meaning I have a direct line to him, sidestepping office staff.  The catch–you knew there had to be one–the radiologists covering the hospital and the imaging centers I’ve been referred to are out-of-network. Thankfully, the facilities established workarounds, a “fix” taking more money directly out of my pocket.

Getting good health care should not be so complicated and costly. In a country filled with so many really smart people, why does healthcare remain such a mess? In my cynical, older person mind, I think it’s complicated so we get frustrated trying to figure it out. We pay the premiums, make calls after calls questioning the cryptic bills, eventually giving up the fight so we can be done with it all and move on with our lives. If we could hang in there long enough to get to the bottom of all the terminology, codes, and qualifiers, we’d discover we’re paying a lot of money to a lot of different people for suboptimal care.

I know I am not alone in this battle. My bills are nothing compared to many others. The saddest part of it all is I don’t see things getting better or easier anytime soon.

After all of this, I needed a laugh. To get that done, thought I’d share a Christmas quote from George Carlin:

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

I wish you all a great weekend. Be careful and stay aware as you head out to do your holiday shopping. Listen to your gut. If a place or situation doesn’t feel right, leave. 

I am…

B…simply being…

Love, peace, and pray for those in need.